21 October 2017 - DrSunshine.org

The Lone Ranger

One of the channels on Dr Sunshine's cable TV shows daily episodes of half-hour programs filmed in the perversely named Alabama Hills in the mid-twentieth century. He has been making a study of them. The Lone Ranger. Impossibly clean. Impeccably dressed. Tall, vital, slight paunch at the belt. Homeless vigilante rides the range at breakneck speeds on a truly magnificent, white stallion. The masked man has an obsequious, cartoon Indian assistant whose name means stupid in Spanish and who also rides a beautiful horse and stays impossibly clean for a homeless person.

Every episode is the same story. The Lone Ranger discovers from his encampment in the mountains that some bad men are doing some bad things in a nearby community with a sheriff who, as a government employee, is naturally incompetent. The Lone Ranger tricks the bad men into revealing themselves, then turns them over to the government employee and rides out of town at breakneck speed to some inspiring music, also moving at a breakneck speed.

The belief that vigilantes and other amateurs are always more competent than government employees is a long and deep tradition in the United States. It has led us to the current moment, with amateurs fully in charge of the executive branch and served by a legislature dominated by sycophants of the Kochs, Sheldon Adelson, the Mercers, and other rich miscreants of that ilk. Truly the outcome that Americans deserve.

When Dr Sunshine says, "Americans", he means the people who think of themselves as "real Americans". The ones who occupy 90% of the geographic area of the continental United States. Don't take it personally unless you are one of those "real Americans", in which case, please do take it very personally as a deeply sincere impugnation of your character.

Cheers
Dr Sunshine

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